Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
