i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
