I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
