The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
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