It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
