I wish life had little blips of pornography
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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