She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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