found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's shark week go big or go home
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
