You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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