I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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