I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
