Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
