i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
