Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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