Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
