just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i've created a new STD.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
