You really coming over, don't trick.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
