So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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