Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
