I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
