At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
