I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
