dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
