she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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