just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
