Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
