i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
