i jhust puked up my retainher.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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