i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
