i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
