You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
