Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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