I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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