I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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