I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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