I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
