Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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