Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
