my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
