I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
