She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
