so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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