I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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