omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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