I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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