Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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