Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
