we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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