so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
