absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
