Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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